


ours are the moments i play in the dark

by lady_fosboss



Category: Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger
Genre: Angst, M/M, cute fitz, im a murderer i know, keefe regrets all, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:34:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28762659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_fosboss/pseuds/lady_fosboss
Summary: keefe didn't think coming to amsterdam would be this hard
Relationships: Keefe Sencen/Fitz Vacker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	ours are the moments i play in the dark

**Author's Note:**

> no this fic was not inspired by the first line in always you by louis tomlinson, what gave you that idea???

The water in the flower-lined canals moved at a slow, calm pace, winding through the narrows streets charmingly. Keefe wished his brain would take some pointers and maybe _calm down._ But no. The stubborn thing was perhaps at it's craziest.

Thoughts crashed around his head like waves in a storm, overlapping each other shrilly.

_How are you such an idiot? Running away like that, to somewhere you've never even been no doubt? Do you think learning to control yourself around humans without a mentor is any better than doing it surrounded by people who could actually help you? Silly boy!_

The waves were clearly at war with each other, for different ones tried drowning the first batch.

_Ah yes, this will definitely help. The greatest choice you could make in the moment, really. It's not like staying there and endangering literally everyone would've been a great thing to do. Good one, Keefe!_

All Keefe really wanted was to slam his head against the wall until he woke from this horrid nightmare into a new world. One where he didn't have dangerous, people-killing abilities and was still safe with his friends. One where he could be happy, and not worried about his mother trying to kill his friends by claiming him on her side.

He squared his shoulders at that reminder. He wasn't doing a dumb thing, he was protecting everyone from a danger - even if that danger was himself. How would his mother find him in Amsterdam?

Plus, this might be an opportunity to make new memories!

But Keefe's traitorous brain was stuck on one particular memory, and seemed content to replay it until Keefe acknowledged it.

_Him and Fitz, lying under a tree in Everglen's massive yard. The wind was blowing just right, the leaves coating the ground around them in a halo of reds and oranges and yellows and greens. Fitz was pointing at the clouds drifting across the sky, framed by the sunset, and Keefe was watching him. Trying to memorize the set of his face._

_(How he had never noticed that he was always rushing to memorize Fitz? Even at eleven, he was always quick to watch. As though he knew everything - his entire life - was just temporarily with his friends.)_

_"That one looks almost like this eatery I went to in Amsterdam once!" Fitz exclaimed, his teal eyes widening. "Look, it has the same table and all."_

_Keefe reluctantly pried his eyes away from the mesmerizing sight of a passionate Fitz Vacker. He stared at the cloud Fitz was pointing out, and had to admit it did look a bit like the diners Fitz had described._

_"What's Amsterdam anyway?" Keefe asked, wrinkling his nose at the funny-sounding name._

_Fitz exhaled a dreamy sigh. "Keefe, we have to go again some day. Just me and you. There are these looooooong streets with the prettiest buildings, and tons of cool places. Like there are clothes stores selling the weirdest stuff - like the only people who could pull them off are really cool people. And there are art galleries, with art as cool as yours. I bet you'd also get paid human money if you showed them your stuff."_

_"I have money already," Keefe reminded him, but his brain was stuck on one particular thing. "You said ... just us two?"_

_"Yeah!" Fitz nodded. "I can make new memories, and your first ones of it will be with me. It could be our little place. Not even Bi would know. And -" he turned his face shyly away._

_"What?" Keefe pressed when Fitz didn't elaborate. "Come on, say it, Fitzy."_

_Keefe could tell Fitz was blushing. "I just think we could make our own story there. Live far away from annoying siblings and irritating parents. You know ... us alone. No matchmaking business to worry about."_

_"Really just us two? For real?" Keefe asked disbelievingly. His mum and dad had made it seem like he'd always be surrounded by tons of people._

_"Yes." Fitz nodded, then turned to him. His forehead was creased with what Keefe called 'his serious line'. "But you have to promise you won't go without me, Keefe," Fitz insisted, "otherwise the magic will be lost."_

_"This place now has magic too?" Keefe asked sceptically, but he was very serious when he held his pinkie out. "I promise I won't go there without you. Ever."_

_He meant it. This place was now officially a part of his important memories. He could see Fitz and himself there somehow, taking in the sights of this magical Forbidden City together._

_"No matter what?"_

_"No matter what."_

_They locked pinkies, and that point of contact seemed to solidify every promise Keefe had ever made to Fitz, but especially that one._

All it took was five years to break that promise.

What was he doing?

Keefe had just broken the one promise - _the one thing linking him and Fitz._ They'd been going through a hard patch in their relationship recently, but this one promise had been tethering them together.

Now he'd lost that too.

Of all the places he could've gone to, he'd picked the one place that was entirely off-limits. Why had changing Iggy's fur colour reminded him of that memory and become the place he'd leaped to? Was it the fact that Iggy's tiger-like fur reminded him of the leaves from that day?

Keefe didn't know.

He slumped to the ground, resting against the stone wall, wondering why his Empathy couldn't work on him and help him figure out why coming to Amsterdam specifically made him feel more traitorous than the fact that he'd run away in the first place.

Then he realised.

This was personal.

It didn't matter that Keefe had come here cause of stupid feelings he should've buried ages ago.

Fitz wouldn't see it that way. He'd see it as just another reason befriending Keefe had been a bad idea.

It didn't matter that the thought of crinkled-at-the-corners teal eyes and any artist's dream smile eventually picked him up and made Keefe wander the streets for a place of shelter.

All that mattered was that yet again, Keefe had made a bad decision. That he couldn't afford to mingle amongst the humans when he was so utterly dangerous.

Just another item to check off his mental list, after all. _Betray all your friends, especially your best friend who you're probably in love with._

_Sighing, Keefe followed the water in a Amsterdam street, wishing he were anywhere else._


End file.
